Here is the entry I've been procrastinationg to write.

Years ago, before when I didn't know anything (or at least compared to now), I was a in utter chaos and not of the kind I enjoy being in. Although it was a very much learning experence for me, as all of life is, I grew alot and stronger for whatever is coming. I walked dead and breathed dead. No life force to move or go or to think. I had absolutly no drive. But yet there was a small amount of life in me. I figure it was my spirit that's inside of me that lifted that foot and made me go on that one extra step. And it couldn't of been a more important step in my life. And if I hadn't taken that step, I might not of been here today. I would of killed myself.

I was skeptical at first. No idea of what I was going into. But I decided to do it and it was a decision I was glad I was talked into. I thought "No, no, no. I am older and wiser and most importantly better. I am to be grown up and to do this. This is how it's done." What I ended up wanting became, well, wanting. But of course, like I said, I didn't know as much as I do now, compared to then. I tried to justify and reason with myself but that's all I was doing. Also for no aparently reason. But I was talked into it. Somthing that, now, standing here, realized was ment to happen. I know this because I can't see any other way of my life playing out except for death. I decided to go to Teen Camp. The cake that began my exeperence of a lifetime. Choices.

Teen Camp 04 had to be the one thing that kept my life going. That was tune up, Adult Choices was the fuel, Coaching Teen Camp was the wings. It wasn't so much what I learned but what I experenced in order to learn. Everything unravlled after that. My life, my thoughts, my way of living was a bunch of strange of string all tangled together into knots and more knots. It wasn't a strong rope. It was weak. Couldn't hold anything or do anything. Choices unravlled those string and then because of that I learned how to make "knots" and now I can make a rope. This rope is being woven into a beautiful braid and is stronger then ever. All because of Choices.

That experence showed me how to live. Live the way I want to live. It's not even the whole chunk. Choices was the gun that went off. I was on the starting line and I ran. As I gained some wings and was able to fly. Next I was able to learn to fly. Next I learned how to teach others to fly. Next I learned how to find others that flew. Next I learned how to make the flight smooth. (With Balance and Understanding) Next I learned that learning is what I want to do. This gun shot was somthing I needed and was ment to happen. I know this now.

Now you shouldn't get me confused with my analogy. This gun wasn't the gun that goes off when a race starts. It's the gun that went off to tell my the journey starts. There is no race. No race to the end. To heaven, hell or whatever is beyond. I could care less about that right now. Why? Mostly because I am here to live in this life and this life alone. To fufill my purpose and do everything I was ment to do. There is no race in my life. Just experence. Everything to do with experence. I learn from everything. Create value in everything. Positive? Negative? All experence and information in order for me to learn to complete and live my purpose. All because of Choices.

Now as I'm flying, I need to charge my batteries. Refuel. I have a few ways to refuel and some are better then others. There is regular fuel. Which is hanging out with friends or reading or learning somthing that really is amazing. Then there is premium fuel. Now premium fuel is where I be with the people I love and I get a charge out of it. The charge that makes me remember those times and where I was think back and say "wow, that was some good times". Then there is the hardcore fuel. This fuel isn't rare. But comes in alot of forms. But the most easyly described form is actualy giving back at Choices. Coaching. Stretching. Being with. Everything "Choices". But all fuels get me going and I can fly or run or anything along this path.

If it's fine woven ropes or supremly charged fuel, I am able, in simple words, live. Live and life. Some things that mean so much to me now. It has more value to me then anything there is. But the mobius thing about that is the valuable things "there is" are in my life and happen when I'm living. Loop and full circle. All to do with Choices.

Now there is no end to this "legend" or "story". If that's what they are tp become that is fine because I know I'll have loved living this life. My faith in my spirituality has never been stronger. My love for me has never been higher. And my thirst for knowledge has never been more. Balance and understanding our my foundation. My purpose fills the walls. My interior is my life. And I can fly where ever I want to. All because I know. I know what I need to know in order to live. But I wouldn't of known, had it not been for one tiny experence, that led to every other experence...Choices

viva la revolution, of myself, of my world
u siyam...

The question of how do we as Indigenous Peoples survive from what we are doing to ourselfs and what has happend. With the current system of goveremtn left for corruption, nepotism, fear and capitalistic controll we must ask ourselves what is the best form of goverment for our peoples. The current outline/system is flawed because it is still based on Colonial Goverements and does not truly represent the people or have any true indigenous flares to it.

Current System:

• Band/Tribal Council is elected by the people. (With the exception of a few nations across Canada, 100 people = 1 counciler)
• Elected Chief of nation (With the exception of a few nations)
• Portfolio's are caried by the councilers
• Work done through beurocracy
• Motions, policy, proceerdure make up decision making
• Must follow this system in order for "change" to happen
• Durastic change happens slowly

Traditional System

• People with either: Knowledge, Ability or Power were leaders
• Leaders in different areas of the people (ex. Lead Hunter, Lead Canoe Builder, etc etc)
• Leaders are with the people and not above them
• Leaders are held up by people conintualy
• Balanced is made between the people and their leadership
• Room for expansion, discussion and exlporation among decision making
• Preceedure is outline but not foundation
• Code of Honor is maintained within the leadership
• leadership all converse among each other to represent true peoples voice

Now the question comes to mind of how to make a True Indigenous Governance. This system doesn't leave room for error or expansion into decision making. Councilers are not held at grassroots level but top of the pole. This leads to powerstruggle and jelousy which induces fear. Fear creates an oppertunity to controll and corrupt. Where does the balance lie?

An idea that came to me was the new age goverence that would reformante the nation. Cut the fear, nepotism, corruption and everything around surrounding it. We need a system that deals with every aspect of our people and really represents the true indigenous goverment. Now the problem lies in balance and understanding. Balance and understanding are the foundation for a strong anything. Where the balance lies between current politics and true indigenous goverance. Where does the balance lie with you? What is a colonial way of goverment and what is traditional indigenous? Eventualy it'll be you that decides.

Introducing:
My Actions and Secrets - a personal and day to day journal of Old Man Rivers life. What does not make it onto this site, will be put there. This is where things that happen in, out, around and through-out his life will be placed. Wondering what Old Man Rives has been up to check this out? Also, for groupies of Old Man Rivers, on the rare occation you might get a secret or two, but stayed tuned.

mythoughtsandvoice.blogspot.com

"what are we when we stop being spiritual enviromentalists?"
- d.rivers 1989-Present

Is that the basis for the very foundation our ansestors stayed true too. The creator showed them through the flood to loose that would lead to our peoples destruction. Yet as "Aboriginal Canadians" striving for colonial governance and capitalist job training we add to the destruction of our mother. It's bad enough the one we're shaking hands with (and like my nation, having an affair with) the goverment who's raping "our" mother but isn't it just sick that we, us, INDIANS are raping our own mother? How sick is that? Like seriously... I know that's harsh but...quite frankly, deal with it.

We drive our big SUV's and big trucks but at what expence. Where are the stelmexw of old that did everything to sustain the land. We are and never the "owners" of this land but stewards of mother temixw. The waste of everything from water to oil to energy. It all leads up to disaster. How many of our people even recycle?

Is it because we're so far assimilated that we don't care and have become what we never were. If that is the case, are we even close to what we were or that at all? How many of our people just litter away eveything. Throw it on the ground, or into the land. Crap, garbage and junk. Then people go and buy gazz-gussling cars and SUV's. What have we become?

Did our people fight long and hard aganst our past and current oppressors so that their future generations can become of this? Settlements and "negotiations"? A people build on strong foundation that fought hard to protect it's society's autonemy through all it's aspects. And here we are, littering, polluting, demolishing. We not only kill ourselves but our mother who gave us....everything. Ladies and gentlement, if we stay on this course, I'd start to expect another flood because it's the same thing repeating itself.

Now there is one solution that come from outside status-quo that is among the younger iGeneration and Y for that matter. Somthing I'm in the process of doing. This concept and ideology is formaly known as.....DECOLONIZTION.

When are you going to decolonize?

Ladies and gentlmen, I would like to formaly annouce W (Dubya) otherwise known as Cliff Atleo JR. otherwise known as Na'cha'uaht. As we are both doing 101 tasks in 1001 days project and plus it's somthing we both believe in with decolonization and resurrgence of indigenous "theologies". The thing I am talking about is, yes, apprenticeship! Yay!.... Basicaly what that means is we're still the same as allies now except I get health benifits and learn how to be a militant...lol... It's a quid pro quo indigenous style, where we want to scratch each others back because it's the old ways... "oooh, yes, yes, lower.....little lower, yes right there"

Together we'll fight the right fight and eventualy win this war. I am proud to announce Na'cha'uaht as one of mentors. Glad to be asked and it's great to make our bond even closer as we are both walking, for a brief time, on the same path. U siyam, chen kwen men tumi Na'cha'uaht.

I wonder if this means I get a light saber seeing as I am his padawan now.
May the force be with us.

THE IDEA: Came to me in school today as I, of course, sumbled off and starting thinking aimlessly. After the recent revelations and knowledge learned from people and books. (Such as Tiakaie A. and his book, Wasaise) Many other people have indirectly and directly added to my epiphany of "what to do". I knew what I had to do. What was needed. But then It came to me of what I "really need to do" and what I want to do.

I will be doing what I love and be able to run with it. This also adds further to the continual struggle for autonomy, freedom, and personal indigenous sanctions through decolonization. It will total up to direct decolonization of our people. Brining back our old ways through this. It not only adds to my Contract & Purpose and I know I'll feel great doing this but it will reshape "our" world to really create somthing out of me.

As some of you maybe already know I supported a few people in my nations Election for SN Council. For those who don't know what that it is, here is the low down:

Every 4 years my nation goes through turmoil and dis-trust among families and people to elect 16 seats to be our "democratic" council. This council is to initiate projects aloted from their "Portfolio's" that each have. They also sit around drink coffee, vote about pointless things and add to the beauocracy of democracy in a capitalistic ideals with christian values. A backwords way adding to the Aboriginal way of regressing and adding more to the pathway our people should not go down.

My mother, of course, made it into council. Which was a shocker and amazing to see how she is behaving. After observing her and watching people at the Council meeting I came to a few conlusions for the time being and I hope these don't change.

1. Council will never be a way for me to create change to effect future generation coming from the old
2. Some of my people are lost, confused and brainwashed
3. To create more avenues for change, other then "Chief And Council", are the best way to make it happen
4. Band Councils are restricting and do not in any way reflex true indigenous goverment
5. Following this "Band Council" adds to the assimilation and corruption of our people into western philosophy mentality
6. Politics: Change at all happens slow to the extreme (H-Core Slow)
7. confined, status-quo, restricting, in the box, hands-off all make up Politics
8. Politics is everything I am not, see number 8 for more information
9. I will not create anything from this, that is close to my purpose in life
10. Chief & Council is not my purpose in life (See Contract)
11. I fufill my contract or out-do my ansestors by conforming to this or somthing like this

To figure this out makes me feel good because, even though my people think this is where "change" happens, it is not. That is the status-quo itself for "change". Only on Council can you create anything for the people. I will create, promote, and allow things to happen in my life and I will never be a Council for as long as I live. I will not promote following into it's regime. I hope to create a new avenue and more avenues for future generations to go down besides

CHIEF AND COUNCIL

Here lie some "terms" that deal majorly within our youth advocates and radcials as well as our indigenous peoples. They are used loosly and in our language need to be idenitfyed more clearly. I suggest everyone indigenous person find in your own langauge words similar or close to these and the definition. (FYI, you can use a thesaurus..lol)

I'll report back when I have the definitions in both kwakwala and skwxwu7mesh snichem. Enjoy!

war�ri�or
One who is engaged in or experienced in battle.
One who is engaged aggressively or energetically in an activity, cause, or conflict: neighborhood warriors fighting against developers.

clar�i�fy

To make clear or easier to understand; elucidate: clarified her intentions.
To clear of confusion or uncertainty: clarify the mind.
To make clear by removing impurities or solid matter, as by heating gently: clarify butter.

chief
One who is highest in rank or authority; a leader.
A chief petty officer.
Nautical. The chief engineer of a ship.
Slang. A boss.
Heraldry. The upper section of a shield.
The most important or valuable part. adj.
Highest in rank, authority, or office.
Most important or influential.

as�sim�i�la�tion

The act or process of assimilating.
The state of being assimilated.
Physiology. The conversion of nutriments into living tissue; constructive metabolism.
Linguistics. The process by which a sound is modified so that it becomes similar or identical to an adjacent or nearby sound. For example, the prefix in- becomes im- in impossible by assimilation to the labial p of possible.
The process whereby a minority group gradually adopts the customs and attitudes of the prevailing culture

ad�ap�ta�tion
The act or process of adapting.
The state of being adapted.

col�o�ni�za�tion
The act or process of establishing a colony or colonies.

decolonization
the action of changing from colonial to independent status