What is your daily struggle/battle/fight?
My daily struggle would have to be the battle with myself over what is truly indigenous over what is colonial. Not only this but what of the colonial ways that have been drilled into my head actually work for me. I don’t believe everything that has been imprinted on me is wrong or “evil” but some/most of it doesn’t work. I usually have the battle over what would be the most indigenous thing I could do. If not that, is this the colonial thing I am doing actually indigenous and not coming from a colonized standpoint or way of life?

What is your spiritual vent?
My spiritual vent would have to be singing and dancing. Meditation frequently on my place on a spiritual level plus praying to kexe7nex in conversations keeps me up float (even swimming) on a spiritual note. I want to eventually start doing spiritual swims in our creeks and such. The traditional singing and dancing keeps me in tune with the music and helps me ground myself. The pitches and tones that are made in the songs hit a certain vibration within us on a spiritual level. Opening myself to these and truly feeling that spiritual tone resonates through the rest of me. This is why I get so into traditional singing and/or dancing.

Do you deal in absolutes or relativity? Why?
After recent events and deep thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that one shouldn’t deal in absolutes for the world is fill of people each with different perspectives. Dealing like this narrows it down and as our people were generally open minded people set by standards and protocol follow this understanding way of life helps me feel more truly indigenous. It is hard to be balanced and understanding when one is dealing in absolutes. (As understanding and balance are the things I strive to maintain and follow in my life)

What do you fear?
My fear is I cannot complete the task or expectations set by myself. Although after 5 or less minutes I am over that and start doing it. Surprisingly the fear of myself comes into the mix frequently but is subsides pretty fast. I will admit and strong believe I create my fear, but it pops up on the rare occasion.

Fear is not a tool I choose to use, but is something I use to motivate myself to complete the task.

(Example)
I’m afraid of asking her out. But what is the worst that could happen and it’s not big deal. I’ll ask her out..

In rare instances it drives me to push on because I fear it. I feel it stupid that I actually fear it and because it’s so miniscule and that I know I’m setting that up for myself by creating the fear, I overcome it.

What kind of attitude was put forth to you when you were taught about your traditions?
Attitudes put forth would have to be some Christian values but not strongly. These attitudes of the world about my peoples issues helped shaped my attitude that "we do need leaders and we are the ones to make it happen". Seeing and hear of the true atrocities done to my people and the “need” and “want” for strong leaders. Of destinies made for “up and coming leaders” among our people. These expectations almost made us feel like we were supposed to be messiah or savior type people. The ironic thing about this, just as quickly the some of the same people would shoot their "hero's" down. The attitude of we are the ones who must do what needs to be done. Many Christian values mixed in with quasi-skwxwu7mesh mentalities.

The question of decolonization among my leaders of “what is decolonization” was an interesting one but still a question that should be answered strongly and confidently. What is also interesting that the current ring of leadership is starting to notice the youth want this “decolonization”. As the decolonization process is firstly the self, then the family, then the friend, then the community I find the struggle with the self is hard enough. Although I take great pride in the fact the sacrifices made by myself and others like me walking this path are making it easier for future generations.

I look to the history of my people for times like this. At one time there was a flood and few of my people survived. The ones that did survive were the ones Kexe7nex Siyam deemed necessary to live and revive the Skwxwu7mesh-ulh way of life. These people took everything they could from before the flood and brought it into the new way of life. The entire environment around them had changed. They used what they brought from the past and brought it into the future. I believe we must make the same steps. Part of this decolonization process is identifying what we “want” to be in the end result. I know I don’t want to be an Aboriginal-Canadian fitting into settler society living life the average way being a statistic. I want to be truly Indigenous through my way of thinking and way of acting. To strip away all the unnecessary gimmicks and mannerisms that is OldMan. My way of thinking needs to be re-examined through a magnifying glass and brought into light. I want to be truly indigenous as Skwxwu7mesh-ulh. What is truly indigenous though?

Decolonization for me is looking at it like this. Imagine in the perfect world where the Settler Europeans came over and were really nice and happy. They wanted to co-exist with us in a perfect Utopia. They shared and we we’re in perfect harmony. The question is then, what would the Indigenous peoples look like then? The answer to this question is what the end result of decolonization means. It doesn’t mean we revert back to the ways of life before contact. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a “Traditionalist” and neither are the people who walk the path decolonization. It is stripping away the colonial way inside. It’s like water equals indigenous and oil equals colonial. Right now some of us feel there is too much oil inside of us. We want to rid ourselves of this oil and put in more water. We might not be able to remove all of the oil though, but we can do our best to put in more water... We want to put in as much as water as we can. Go H20!!!

As mentioned before my life is about BALANCE and UNDERSTANDING. As far as I’ve been able to figure out before, balance and understand are two of the many values our people held high. Living by these standards has brought much more into my life and makes me feel more indigenous. This is a way to live and I love it. Part of this decolonization process is finding more of these core values. I say core values because the core values is what everything else is based on. Respect, honor, trust, and many more values are some our people had but not the core values. I believe everyone on the decolonization process will find there own core values also. What is the latest thing I’ve done to decolonize myself? Start living my people’s music as a way of life. I am starting our singing practices and am inviting everyone. This brings the community together. Revives old ways and pushes out those “weekend” and “seasonal” Indians. I was hoping there is more but the next and hardest step is, to decolonize my diet.