Here is the entry I've been procrastinationg to write.

Years ago, before when I didn't know anything (or at least compared to now), I was a in utter chaos and not of the kind I enjoy being in. Although it was a very much learning experence for me, as all of life is, I grew alot and stronger for whatever is coming. I walked dead and breathed dead. No life force to move or go or to think. I had absolutly no drive. But yet there was a small amount of life in me. I figure it was my spirit that's inside of me that lifted that foot and made me go on that one extra step. And it couldn't of been a more important step in my life. And if I hadn't taken that step, I might not of been here today. I would of killed myself.

I was skeptical at first. No idea of what I was going into. But I decided to do it and it was a decision I was glad I was talked into. I thought "No, no, no. I am older and wiser and most importantly better. I am to be grown up and to do this. This is how it's done." What I ended up wanting became, well, wanting. But of course, like I said, I didn't know as much as I do now, compared to then. I tried to justify and reason with myself but that's all I was doing. Also for no aparently reason. But I was talked into it. Somthing that, now, standing here, realized was ment to happen. I know this because I can't see any other way of my life playing out except for death. I decided to go to Teen Camp. The cake that began my exeperence of a lifetime. Choices.

Teen Camp 04 had to be the one thing that kept my life going. That was tune up, Adult Choices was the fuel, Coaching Teen Camp was the wings. It wasn't so much what I learned but what I experenced in order to learn. Everything unravlled after that. My life, my thoughts, my way of living was a bunch of strange of string all tangled together into knots and more knots. It wasn't a strong rope. It was weak. Couldn't hold anything or do anything. Choices unravlled those string and then because of that I learned how to make "knots" and now I can make a rope. This rope is being woven into a beautiful braid and is stronger then ever. All because of Choices.

That experence showed me how to live. Live the way I want to live. It's not even the whole chunk. Choices was the gun that went off. I was on the starting line and I ran. As I gained some wings and was able to fly. Next I was able to learn to fly. Next I learned how to teach others to fly. Next I learned how to find others that flew. Next I learned how to make the flight smooth. (With Balance and Understanding) Next I learned that learning is what I want to do. This gun shot was somthing I needed and was ment to happen. I know this now.

Now you shouldn't get me confused with my analogy. This gun wasn't the gun that goes off when a race starts. It's the gun that went off to tell my the journey starts. There is no race. No race to the end. To heaven, hell or whatever is beyond. I could care less about that right now. Why? Mostly because I am here to live in this life and this life alone. To fufill my purpose and do everything I was ment to do. There is no race in my life. Just experence. Everything to do with experence. I learn from everything. Create value in everything. Positive? Negative? All experence and information in order for me to learn to complete and live my purpose. All because of Choices.

Now as I'm flying, I need to charge my batteries. Refuel. I have a few ways to refuel and some are better then others. There is regular fuel. Which is hanging out with friends or reading or learning somthing that really is amazing. Then there is premium fuel. Now premium fuel is where I be with the people I love and I get a charge out of it. The charge that makes me remember those times and where I was think back and say "wow, that was some good times". Then there is the hardcore fuel. This fuel isn't rare. But comes in alot of forms. But the most easyly described form is actualy giving back at Choices. Coaching. Stretching. Being with. Everything "Choices". But all fuels get me going and I can fly or run or anything along this path.

If it's fine woven ropes or supremly charged fuel, I am able, in simple words, live. Live and life. Some things that mean so much to me now. It has more value to me then anything there is. But the mobius thing about that is the valuable things "there is" are in my life and happen when I'm living. Loop and full circle. All to do with Choices.

Now there is no end to this "legend" or "story". If that's what they are tp become that is fine because I know I'll have loved living this life. My faith in my spirituality has never been stronger. My love for me has never been higher. And my thirst for knowledge has never been more. Balance and understanding our my foundation. My purpose fills the walls. My interior is my life. And I can fly where ever I want to. All because I know. I know what I need to know in order to live. But I wouldn't of known, had it not been for one tiny experence, that led to every other experence...Choices

viva la revolution, of myself, of my world
u siyam...