Deep Questions
What is your daily struggle/battle/fight?
My daily struggle would have to be the battle with myself over what is truly indigenous over what is colonial. Not only this but what of the colonial ways that have been drilled into my head actually work for me. I don’t believe everything that has been imprinted on me is wrong or “evil” but some/most of it doesn’t work. I usually have the battle over what would be the most indigenous thing I could do. If not that, is this the colonial thing I am doing actually indigenous and not coming from a colonized standpoint or way of life?
What is your spiritual vent?
My spiritual vent would have to be singing and dancing. Meditation frequently on my place on a spiritual level plus praying to kexe7nex in conversations keeps me up float (even swimming) on a spiritual note. I want to eventually start doing spiritual swims in our creeks and such. The traditional singing and dancing keeps me in tune with the music and helps me ground myself. The pitches and tones that are made in the songs hit a certain vibration within us on a spiritual level. Opening myself to these and truly feeling that spiritual tone resonates through the rest of me. This is why I get so into traditional singing and/or dancing.
Do you deal in absolutes or relativity? Why?
After recent events and deep thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that one shouldn’t deal in absolutes for the world is fill of people each with different perspectives. Dealing like this narrows it down and as our people were generally open minded people set by standards and protocol follow this understanding way of life helps me feel more truly indigenous. It is hard to be balanced and understanding when one is dealing in absolutes. (As understanding and balance are the things I strive to maintain and follow in my life)
What do you fear?
My fear is I cannot complete the task or expectations set by myself. Although after 5 or less minutes I am over that and start doing it. Surprisingly the fear of myself comes into the mix frequently but is subsides pretty fast. I will admit and strong believe I create my fear, but it pops up on the rare occasion.
Fear is not a tool I choose to use, but is something I use to motivate myself to complete the task.
(Example)
I’m afraid of asking her out. But what is the worst that could happen and it’s not big deal. I’ll ask her out..
In rare instances it drives me to push on because I fear it. I feel it stupid that I actually fear it and because it’s so miniscule and that I know I’m setting that up for myself by creating the fear, I overcome it.
What kind of attitude was put forth to you when you were taught about your traditions?
Attitudes put forth would have to be some Christian values but not strongly. These attitudes of the world about my peoples issues helped shaped my attitude that "we do need leaders and we are the ones to make it happen". Seeing and hear of the true atrocities done to my people and the “need” and “want” for strong leaders. Of destinies made for “up and coming leaders” among our people. These expectations almost made us feel like we were supposed to be messiah or savior type people. The ironic thing about this, just as quickly the some of the same people would shoot their "hero's" down. The attitude of we are the ones who must do what needs to be done. Many Christian values mixed in with quasi-skwxwu7mesh mentalities.