After recent epiphanies about everything in my life for the past year or so, i've come to realize that i someone to talk to who will listen is all i really need. Most of the time I talk to someone, it either becomes a debate, pitty, sympathy, join forces or somthing along those lines. My mind is going so damn fast and my thoughts are shot out too fast for the gun barrel to handle that i'm going crazy. This insaness is not adding to the pleasure of what is life. I'm just so baffled at the job that needs to be done and how hard it is going to do it. I know theres a tape and I find myself thinking more, the more tapes come up. Oh yay!

My tapes are spinning fast and I'm starting to catch on now. Personal development is not what I need right now. A whipe is what I need right now. Time is what I need right now. Action for resistance is what we need right now. The things that must be under taken are so enormous. I can't believe we have to do this.

Why do I have the feeling, my generation, my elders and most of my people will hate me. I have decided I am not doing this for my people, or my youth, or the elders. I am going to do this for my ansestors and the future generations. Everything in between are just collateral damage and damaged goods, including me.

Like they say in a store, "you break it you buy it" and now it's our time to pay up. And we are going to pay, and pay big time. Our insolence and disobedience to our teachings and our ways has made us white. Not "white" in a sence but with "white values". We have been colonized so bad we need to get rid of these "christian" values and "white" values before we are destroyed with the only trace of the "stelmexw" being in hollywoods movies. I guess you could even say in the books that are written by the white man, because of corse it's "the white mans world and we have to learn to survive in it".

THAT DOES NOT MEAN WE GIVE UP! We MUST revolt and rebel aganst these colonial ways. Our society, culture, politics and economy. Everything needs to change. The unification of our old ways with the new, the old ways must be the majority. This does not include "culture".

Culture is a notion of the indians trying to re-create what is almost gone. "Well, I'm off to the long house to be cultural now, see ya later" or "My values in life are to be cultural and to be close to the culture" are lines that never would of been used in the old ways. Why you might ask? It is because it was not the culture, it was their way of life. We must create our way of life or else die. Come together or die.


woohoo...that felt good to get off my chest, but there is more, it's just that I'm leaving for the council nominations in abit. Yay! Can't wait, and yes, you'll be hearing about that soon! Later