Or "the" chief for that matter.

After reviewing myself, which I do alot of, I came to the utter and obvious conclusion. It wasn't even about what "I'm not" but what I don't want to be, never will be, or hope to come to. This also leads to "what I am". Although I can proclaim what I am, I feel that my actions can speak better then that. Some would say I am a "Warrior" or a "Champion", but what I may be is somthing I'd rather leave upto the people I do it for. Mostly because, that is the ancient way. The people raise they're nobility up and hold them in high esteem. Not somthing that I strive to do but somthing that does happen and that I wish to follow.

I look at one person I reflect on who did a great many things. I have been able to learn from what I've heard and read but never knew him. I do know he was not a "Chief" but as I call a Champion. He defended and fought and everything for "indian people". I have a certian reguard for him though, because he was "Christian". If this was a "forced" to be christian or christian by choice (like my current elders) I don't know. So then, I decide not to come to my own conclusions about him and his religious and philisophical nature but his actions. This man was Andrew Paull.

I look at another mentor (and more recent and times) who has taught me indirectly and directly of how to effect, well, anything. His pacifism and first onion peel humor has shows me how one person can be and what that brings. His pacifist and "on the fence" aproach to things shows me how to not be like him, but how to aproach things like him. I still find myself taking a side but that is not because of influenced nature but more on my philosophy. This is where my search for truth, understanding and balance come from. Maybe one of the roots of the birth of my values for truth, understanding and balance. This was Splash or Aaron Nelson-Moody.

My third entry is another man who is now consider a chief, although, I will never call him one. I will call him siyam or gigame as that is my languages but not chief. Now in speaking of actions, this is a man that has done many actions. His actions as a non-chief but passion for what is to be done and make things right that has shown me the actions that can take place to make your own desires happen. Especially if your desires and personal agenda is for the people. This man has also been to hell and back (on numerous times) and has learned alot from it. I treat him like a great friend and always a supporter. I know he thinks highly of myself and it goes both ways. But his action and the steps he takes in order for things to happen without order is what has shown me, doing things my way, is the best way for me. Now I know this all goes back to "me, me, me". My values. My rights. And essential "who is me" but he gave me a root or the first drop of "how to search for balance". Not only has his experence shown me but it's how he treds though the water that has given me a way to seek balance in my thoughts and actions. This man is Waxiwidi (William Wasden Jr.).

I precieve chief a masculine term but not of a term of respect. The description of the term would be greatly appeciated but that is so hard to define. Is a "siyam" a chief? Is a chief a leader? Is a chief the one I go to? In the end, (and begining), I say a big fat N-O...

Where does it say that the "Chief" does the things that must be done for his people. Where is in law that only chiefs create change. Where is the law? And who's law is that? All question that can be awnsered but again, in the end, I say another big N-O. This mostly has to do with the fact, I will not submitt myself to a status-quo of leadership and a law I do not agree with. I am the rule break. You think that's bad? Then that's good. It is good because I'm doing somthing you see as wrong and what you know as good is wrong. Get your head around that one!

Chiefs are fat tubs of lard that sit in their nice cars that make lots of money and shake hands with the oppressor. They are the epitomy of our assimilation, in one form or another. They are the leaders of Aboriginalism. Leaders maybe, but not all leaders our the leaders we want. It can be goverment, society, economics, and culture. We are the slaves of their imperialism. "I am Chief, hear me roar!" they will say. With the masks they wear and the tone of they're resonence.

"Hi, I'm Chief John Doe. I am not here right now but leave your name and number after the tone" You see their bussines cards and in big letters "Chief John Doe". They announce and proclaim "Chief". All a mask fit to demand and commendeer our respect. Well I say NO with a big "fuck you" hinted in the backround. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

In the essence of what I am and to become, I know that I am not a chief. It is not somthing of my values or moral to do what I must. I must because I believe that it is somthing I feel kexe7nex siyam wants me to do. I will never be a chief, simply because I do not want to do that. To put it into context, Chieftainship is the devil and I do not wish to use the devil's wepons, to fight pure evil.

Now for the big question, if I am not a chief, what am I?

I say, I am a young man (at this point anyways) on a path that is to be walked. What title I carry on that path is not of huge importance to me, as long as it does not go aganst my utter most values. To have values and to have such a strong belief in them could not be swayed. I would die for what I believe, knowing that he wants me to believe him because I believe in him.

But what say you to your mask wearing, imperialistic, corrpution filt, poisionious devil forcing you through respect to agree to your assimilation. Where does your respect lie but not with the people who hold in high esteem. It is not a mater of who you respect but what is respect. Where are your values? And how strong do you believe in them?

So? What say you?